We have all heard the saying “you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone.” Sometimes that is true, but more often than not, the hardest goodbyes come from a saying more like “you always knew what you had, you just never thought you would loose it.”
I have written many goodbyes (click HERE, HERE, or maybe HERE, to read a few). I have a realy hard time saying goodbye. Anyone who has been to EFY with know I am the last one to stop crying. See, I don’t often cry becuase of pain, and I don’t often cry when I feel the spirit, but when it comes to saying goodbye to someone I become a baby.
Goodbyes have become a frequent part of my life. They break my heart. I try to tell myself not to cry because it’s over, but to smile because it happened. Easier said than done.
My heart is breaking. Reading old posts that I wrote only two months ago about how perfect it all was. I wrote about how I couldn’t immagine it any other way. I remember a few specific times where I thought “everything in my life is perfect right now… I wonder how long this will last.” I wrote about how thankful I was for the way things were. Well things have change, and continue to change. My heart crys out in hopes you will come back, fully knowing that will never happen.
I just sit in wonder, and fear of what the future will bring. With a stitch of hope, and all the faith I can muster. I have prayed countless prayers, not that things will go back to the way it was, because I know that won’t happen, but that things will turn out the way they should in the end. That I will be strong enough.
To all the theatre kids, to all the EFY friends, and counselors, to the kids I left when we split to go to separate high schools, to my beloved team mates, and coaches. You have all taught me so much. I am a different person because of you. I have never felt more love, than I have from these groups of people. Even if we never speak again, please never ever forget. Just don’t forget.
feel my sunlight