somber waiting.

I feel blessed. Not to say I don’t struggle because really I do. I struggle all the time. I struggle watching my musical friends be on TV and not being part of it anymore. I struggle knowing the intense pain and sorrows of others I know. I struggle every time my small group of friends shrinks a little. I struggle kowing people have moved on. I struggle when my ankle hurts to much to tumble even when I’m wearing this———————–>
It pains me to know that in the 6 years I have competed I will be missing my first competition ever this Saturday. All because of this stupid injury. It hurts knowing I might miss the next one as well. The Kalon Ludvigson Invitiational. The “international meet”. The one I invited my 9th grade theatre teacher to. That hurts.
It takes everything in me not to tumble. Because I know I could push through it and I could get through my workouts. But by doing this I could risk further injury. I risk being out for the rest of the season. And that would be devistating.  I want to but I can’t. It’s out of my hands now and there is nothing I can do to make this go any faster. But that’s life. I will do my best to strengthen it and help it heal as fast as I can, but it is ultimatly in the hands of God now and I just have to trust in his plan. I must wait.
But it helps when you have somebody else with you who also can’t tumble. For the exact same injury. Same foot even. {ya I know, weird right?!} Even though it killed me to not tumble today I had a blast while we perfected our preschool skills, our handstands, conditioned, did our “ankle rehab”, and worked stradle press handstands until my hip flexers screamed with pain. Lets just say Stirfry and I would die on a beam. It was a rough night, but this lifted my spirits a little bit, and now my hip flexers are crying…. I don’t know what I would do without my team mates.
Now it’s time to gather up our tears and use them to clean the dirt off of other peoples lives. I was in one of those moods that not even country music can solve. So the only thing I could do was turn to my EFY music {Because EFY music makes EVERYTHING all better.} write a blog post, and turn to my scriptures. The best medicine out there. Hope you will do the same.
feel my sunlight
p.s. Sorry for this somber post. I know it’s not really like me.
p.s.s. Well, this basically garentees the fact that I won’t be able to attend any school dances this year because State Championships falls on the day of Prom, and Regional Championships falls on the day of MORP. Oh well…
p.s.s.s. Hugs to you Kodee, I feel for ya. ❤


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