I know I am supposed to be doing homework right now, but my mind is filled with words and I am afraid I will loose them If I don’t record them now.
I learned something today. I learned about perfect. True perfect is not what the world sees. Today wasn’t perfect. I heard a few swear words, and had to do some homework, but there were moments that rocked my perfect world.
There are moments in life, though they may be but little, have a great impact on your life. Today as I stood at the end of the mat preparing to do a skill I have been doing for years, I heard a little voice. Little Kennedy, the little girl I coached once, the girl I convinced that she was good enough. Said the words “Lets go Whitney, you’ve got it.” And in that moment all was perfect. I did that skill better than I had ever done. As I walked back she said “good job Whitney”. At that moment, all flashed through my head. I was suddenly the little girl watching Shawn throw his big skills and wanting so badly to be like him. I realized that while It may be hard, and it may not have been what I thought it would be, It still is. I am one of the only 5 competing at Nationals this year. I realized that it matters less the medal you receive, or the score you get, but the impression you leave on the younger team. I realized that I cannot and I must not fail. I can’t fail them. But with them, success doesn’t come from a medal or trophy, it comes from accepting them, and making them feel good. That is why I looked up so much to B, Ashlie, Stirfry, and Shawn. Not because they did cool tricks and won shiny medals, but because they made me feel good about myself and made me feel wanted. They made me feel like I was worth something. I can fall and break my leg at Nationals, but if I am excited for the little ones when they land their back tuck, I have won. And that is the greatest award I could ever ask for.
I also learned something about goodbyes. If you know me at all you know that they are my greatest weakness. While goodbyes may be bitter and they may hurt. While they leave a sour taste on your tong of unfinished words, and unspoken love, they are never truly lost. It may never be the same, but you will always have your memories to hold close. While you think it may be the last time you will ever hold them close, they may come back, even if only for a moment, and it can be exactly how it once was. For just a moment. For a perfect moment
Feel my Sunlight
p.s. Morning side TOMORROW! Ya’ll better be there!