I was sitting there watching an episode of Heartland the other day, and for those of you who don’t know about Heartland it’s the most wonderful, fantastic, sappy, Canadian, country, cowboy, CBC, TV show ever, it’s my latest guilty pleasure. Anyways, as I was saying, I was sitting there watching an episode of Heartland when suddenly the unexpected happened…
I know. Buffering. It’s the inevitable, yet for some reason we never expect it. It’s like we expect our WiFi treat us better, and we feel betrayed when it makes is wait. Buffering always comes at the most intense moments of the movie or TV show, it always lasts longer than we would like it too, and it always comes more frequently when we don’t want it to.
Something I’ve learned about buffering is that the more you sit and stare at the little spinning circle, the more you want it to go away. The more you want it to move on.
So after a solid 4 minutes of buffering I decided to quit and go sit outside.
While sitting outside on my porch I realized something. I realized that my life is in a current state of buffering. With my senior year of high school just around the corner, the fact that I’ll be 18 in a little under two months, and a mission and college to start thinking about, and the fact that I am flying to Palmyra New York in two days has left me in a state of buffer.
I am anxious to move on to these new and exciting things, and I forgot to stop and enjoy the ride.
I think life often does that to us. It shows us new and exciting things, and then promises them to us. Then it makes us wait.
Like I said before, I’ve learned something about buffering, which I now realize I’ve also learned about life. Sometimes we have to wait for things. It’s inevitable. The trial of our patience comes at the most intense moments. The moments when it’s like we can almost smell what’s coming next, but we just can’t get close enough to taste it. The requirement of our patience always lasts longer than we’d like it too, but I guess that’s what makes it a challenge. And I’ve realized that the more we stare at the little spinning circle promising things for the future, the more we want to dive into the future.
But I also learned something else. Sometimes when we are staring at the spinning circle waiting for the show to start again, we miss amazing things that are going on around us.
Like I mentioned before, when my TV show was buffering I went to go sit outside. And by “sit outside” I mean I went and “sat outside.” No phone. No TV show. Nothing to read. No Twitter. No Facebook. No blog. No distractions. I just sat by myself and thought. And I realized that it’s been a very long time since I’ve done that.
I remembered going on long road trips as a little kid, and the only form of entertainment I had was the people sitting around me, and the trees outside the window flying by. And it was something I wanted to have in my life again.
At that moment I decided that I would stop anxiously worrying about the future, and live in the moment.
Because I’m really enjoying this moment.
I will enjoy the buffering.
feel my sunlight
p.s. Seriously though, Heartland is the greatest. Any fellow Heartlanders out there?
p.s.s. If you caught the Jonas LA quote in there I want you to high five your screen. I also highfived mine so it’s almost like I highfived you… only not… because you just highfived a computer. And if anyone is in the room they are probably looking at you funny because they think you are odd. But I respect your oddness, because you caught the Jonas LA quote and that is awesome. Sorry if your friends think you are weird now.
p.s.s.s. NEW YORK IN TWO DAYS AND AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!