God’s timing. It’s always right isn’t it? But it hurts sometimes.
In my short twenty years of living I’ve come to learn this a few times.
I grew up a competitive power tumbler. It was my everything. I carried a little notebook to school with me and wrote my tumbling goals in it. When I was at the gym I was happy. And when my head would hit the pillow at the end of the day I’d dream of leotards and back flips.
Maybe you’ve heard this story if you know me very well. But as I was finishing my junior year I competed at the Power Tumbling Utah State Championships. I did the best I’d ever done and found myself with a silver medal and a score that qualified me for what would have been my fourth national championships.
I had it made. Or so I thought. But at the time I truly believed I was on my way to achieving the one thing that would make me happy.
Fortunately for me God knows what would really make me happy. And He knew that tumbling wasn’t it. Long story short I received one of the most distinct promptings that I needed to quit tumbling. Many questioned this decision because it didn’t really make much sense. And while I couldn’t see what would come from this decision I decided to act anyways. I did the hardest thing I had ever done. I quit tumbling.
Over three years later I look back on my life and see how much God has directed me to where I need to be. I see the blessings I received from following that one little prompting. But at the time I knew I just had to act in faith that everything would work out for my good. Even if it hurt.
But while I see the blessings from that experience, I still sometimes have a hard time believing that the trials I face now really will work out.
When I came home from my mission a couple months ago I met a boy. A cute boy I might add. I liked this boy a lot and we started dating. I felt like the protagonist in a Disney Channel Original movie. Again, I felt like I had it made. I felt like I was on my way to achieving the one thing that would make me happy.
But I guess I still had something to learn about God’s timing, and His plan because this cute boy recently told me he had been praying about our relationship and received an answer to his prayers. As he told me about the answer he had received my throat felt like it was choking as I fought the tears that were flooding to my eyes.
This answer hurt.
And doesn’t it often feel like this? Haven’t we all looked towards the heavens and questioned why things aren’t working out the way we want them to?
I went for a drive tonight as the sun was setting just to think.
I watched the sun set with beautiful pink colors as I talked to my Heavenly Father. I asked Him about His plan. I asked Him why things have worked out the way they have. I asked Him what I needed to learn from this.
So now I’ll trust in that. I’ll trust that He knows what He’s doing with my life even if I can’t see the outcome yet. Because just as it says in Romans…
So to all my friends out there in similar situations… have faith. Trust that things will work together for your good as you trust Him. Because I know without a doubt that His plan is always and forever will be the best plan.